ABOUT DR. WINDER
More than 20 years of working with individuals and couples
I’m Dr. Alan Winder, a Clinical Psychologist and Certified Couples Mediator. I’ve been a licensed psychologist since 2004. In addition to private practice, I’ve worked in a wide range of settings over the years, including psychiatric hospitals, medical inpatient and outpatient programs, mental health clinics, and academic settings. That has given me experience working with people facing very different problems and at very different points in their lives.
I’ve also learned that people rarely fit neatly into categories. Similar problems can have very different meanings depending on the person, their history, and the circumstances of their life. I try to understand those differences rather than applying the same explanation or approach to everyone. That perspective continues to shape how I work today.
A Little About How I Work
PROCESS OF MY WORK
An important part of therapy is learning to see yourself more clearly. I sometimes think of therapy as a “mirror that talks back”—a place to notice patterns, assumptions, contradictions, and things about yourself that can be difficult to see when you’re in the middle of them. That requires being willing to be honest with yourself.
I tend to be direct, and if I notice something I think you may be missing or avoiding, I’ll bring it up. That doesn’t mean I assume I’m right. We look at it together. But understanding yourself isn’t enough by itself.
I also focus on what changes outside the therapy room: recognizing and adjusting ways of thinking that may not be accurate or helpful, questioning beliefs you’ve carried for years, and changing behaviors that keep leading to the same results. Sometimes the work goes in the other direction.
Instead of continually trying to improve or fix yourself, it may mean learning to accept parts of yourself and your life that don’t actually need to be fixed. For this section, use a different candid photo of me writing, listening, or working in the office.
PSYCHOLOGY AND MEDIATION
My work as a psychologist and mediator have influenced each other quite a bit.
My training and experience as a psychologist have taught me to look beneath the immediate problem and understand what may be driving it. Mediation has reinforced the importance of doing something with that understanding, making decisions, addressing conflict, and figuring out what can actually change.
I don’t come into that process with a particular idea of who you should become. Your values, beliefs, family, culture, relationships, and responsibilities are part of understanding you. My role is to help you see yourself and your situation more clearly, not to substitute my judgment for yours.
PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND
Licensed Psychologist (NY & NJ) since 2004
Certified Couples Mediator
More than 20 years of clinical experience
Experience across private practice, psychiatric hospitals, medical inpatient and outpatient programs, mental health clinics, and academic settings, with ongoing professional training throughout my career.