Understand yourself more clearly. Live more deliberately.
Therapy for capable, responsible people who are used to figuring things out for themselves.
Sometimes the qualities that make you successful can also make life harder.
Being analytical, anticipating problems, taking responsibility, and pushing yourself can take you a long way. But those qualities don’t work equally well everywhere.
You may find yourself overthinking something that can’t be solved, taking responsibility for things that aren’t entirely yours, or having trouble relaxing even when there’s finally nothing you need to do.
I’ve become particularly interested in these patterns over the years. The goal isn’t to make you less driven, responsible, or analytical. It’s to understand where those qualities are still serving you—and where they’re getting in your way.
Ways to work with me
I work primarily with capable, responsible men who are used to handling things themselves. Often they’re doing well in most parts of life but dealing privately with anxiety, pressure, self-criticism, relationship problems, or difficulty ever really switching off. My practice isn’t limited to men; I also work with women who relate to these concerns.
For couples who keep getting stuck around the same issues and want help understanding what’s happening between them while also working toward practical changes and agreements.
For couples who need to work through decisions about children, finances, property and schedules in a more structured and less adversarial way.
Meet Dr. Winder
I’m Dr. Alan Winder, a Clinical Psychologist and Certified Couples Mediator. I’ve been working with individuals and couples for more than 20 years.
I tend to be practical and direct, but I also think it’s important to understand why something keeps happening rather than just trying to make it stop.
Sometimes the work is about understanding yourself better. Sometimes it’s about making a concrete change. Usually it’s some of both. I don’t come in with a particular idea of how you should think or live.
Your values, beliefs, relationships and responsibilities are part of the work. My role is to help you understand yourself and your situation more clearly, not to make decisions for you.
Articles
Why We Often Misunderstand What We’re Feeling
What feels like one overwhelming emotion can be several experiences tangled together. Understanding those layers can be where real progress begins.
Why Summer Is (Sometimes) When People Finally Decide to Start Therapy
Slower summer days can reveal patterns that busy routines conceal: difficulty resting, constant work, and feeling less present in your own life.
The Reason People Start Therapy Is Rarely the Reason They Stay
The concern that brings someone to therapy can be only part of the story. Dr. Alan Winder explores self-acceptance, participation, and meaningful change.
Schedule a Consultation
A brief consultation gives us a chance to talk about what you’re looking for and whether I may be able to help.
Highland Park | Hewlett | Video Sessions